Lots of new and crazy things are happening with the Youth Ministry at my church! After a year of really solid relationship building with the students and the church my partner and I have been able to asses what we have, where we need to go, and what it will take to get there. To that end we've come up with a Three-Pronged approach to our ministry. Teaching, Fellowship, Discipleship. Students get ministered to in many ways through their parents and the general life of the church. My job is not to supply my students with everything - I'm not responsible for meeting all of their needs. Their growth and development don't rest entirely on our shoulders. In light of that these three focuses are the three areas that we want to provide to our students. We want to facilitate those three things happening well while continuing to build relationships and be a part of their lives as we all grow towards Christ. Also, my partner is now newly married! She will be joining her husbands church (which isn't ours) and is now slowly phasing out of the ministry. In response to that AND the general trends we hope to see in the fellowship we are establishing a team of adult volunteers to bolster the ministry efforts! I've never been asked to lead a team of adults who are older than me and I worry that having more eyes on the ministry will only expose its weaknesses more - thus making me look more like a failure. The truth is that that kind of exposure has been helpful and freeing. I do truly need help and seeking it out has been a joy! To read a fuller description of and rational for the Three-Pronged Approach click here: Youth Ministry Update!I now believe that God is calling me to find my primary sense of community at my church. That's where he wants me to pursue life giving relationships, to feel most known, to seek most of my guidance and encouragement, and to call "home." What that doesn't mean is that I have an excuse not to be engaged in the life of the community on the campus of my seminary. It doesn't mean that I am not called to be present at my seminary at all. I can't justify that laziness with the truth that I will find my primary community elsewhere. When I am on campus I need to truly be present there. However, for about two good weeks I really pursued options for me living off campus. My most ideal situation was to find a family that goes to my church, lives halfway between my church and school and live with them free/mostly free. I actually had some legitimate options along those lines. When they fell through I pursued apartments in the area. My best friend from church and I looked at some excellent places there, met with relators, and made budgets. When we finally crunched all of the numbers we could tell that it just wouldn't work. It was a terrific experience because I so naturally just go with the flow and take the path of least resistance. It was obedience that led me to do the research about moving. I not only found myself praying for guidance in this decision, but also the very process of it drew me closer to God. He showed me glimpses of the kind of proactive, initiative taking man he is growing me into but even more than that he showed me glimpses of himself. So, when it came down to it - I was not going to spend more money to live by myself - even if it is closer to my church. As much as I really want to be more of a part of the life of my church's community, I had to realize that I was saying 'no' to an opportunity that I'll never have again in my life (namely to live so cheaply amongst so many people in such a similar station in life in a "campus" setting). So, now I have a confidence about what I will be doing in the future. I can rest assured that living on campus now is the best thing for me at this time in my life. I can also spend lots of time in Illinois at my church confidently knowing that there is where God wants me to be. These parts of my life are not full of worry any more! Last semester I constantly had a lot of small assignments due weekly for each class. That style of homework wears me out and I was just exhausted at the end. This semester I still have SOME of that kind of work, but my classes are not characterized by that style and that makes a huge difference for me. I still feel overwhelmed. I still always want less homework. Yet, I am not drowning. Here's something awesome that I've been learning from one of my classes: While it is true that Christ died to absorb the wrath that was due to me, I often let that truth make me believe untrue things about God. It's easy for me to think - Jesus loves me, but God hates me. It is totally true that God the Father punished Christ because if he didn't he would punish me and I would have no access to him based on my own merits, but that doesn't mean that Jesus is always gracious and patient and God the Father is continually disappointed with me. Jesus always has to remind God to not kill me. "The mysterious unity of the Father and the Son rendered it possible for God at once to endure and to inflict penal suffering." R.W. Dale My class called, "Christ and Salvation" has done a lot to remind me that of the unity of God the Father and God the Son. This is the strange part - they are distinct, but they are also one. It is not like the Father is just mad at me and fortunately the Son was able to convince him otherwise. God the Father has been plotting my redemption since long before I was born! The two were working in cahoots the whole time! One basic belief the world tends to have is that God does not love you. In the garden of Eden, the serpent's lie was, "Is God holding back from you? If he really loves you, why won't he let you eat that fruit?" I still readily believe that. It's a problem and it affects the way I move about in the world. One of the many reasons Jesus came was to reverse that lie about God. 1 John 3:8
The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil’s work. I really had a terrific Birthday! One of my gifts was a fishing pole! So, I was taken fishing by a friend from my church and it was the first time I had gone in over a decade! I caught some bass that we actually were able to cook and eat for dinner that night! It was awesome - I've never done anything like that before and I really enjoyed it!
My friends back at my apartment made me a Bacon and Chocolate cake! We celebrated in style! All day long and surrounding it I felt appreciated and loved. I got to preach again at my church on March 27th! Last time around I went for 50 minutes without even realizing it. I only went five minutes over this time and went for 35! It so many ways I think it, while still deeply flawed, was one of my best sermons yet - it's super encouraging to know that this could be a legitimate option for me in the future! What struck me the most this time around was the reminder that as crucial as a sermon is to Sunday worship, that is all it truly is - a part of Sunday worship! When I preach for my classes there is no context. The sermon I gave at my church was the exposition of a Bible passage to help us further worship God along the worship theme for that day. We sing songs, we pray together, we confess our failings, we confess our beliefs, and get lost in the beauty of our God to make much of him. I preach for my congregation what I think God desires them to hear from his word. The whole worship service is a large group effort to do one thing. We gather as a family to live out the reality that our lives are at their best when they are not primarily about us. I participate in the service as much as when I sing along in the pew as when I open God's word. We have been going through a sermon series on the book of Colossians. False teachers had gone to the church at Collosae and began spreading lies like "you are missing something" "to be a truly great Christian you need more than just Jesus" "you lack the means to grow or to avoid being a victim of your circumstances" etc. The heartbeat of the book is this: "You have Jesus and he is enough!" It has been so good learning how that isn't just a cliche platitude but something that has true power in our daily lives! You can listen to the series here: Concord Presbyterian Church MediaThis semester has not been too hard, yet. February ended earlier than I thought (28 days just seems too short!). Thus, I don't really have a full recap prepared for the first of March. Shortly, I'll fill you in on some of the changes my Youth Group will be going through soon. Also, I've been struggling with realizing how much I don't like doing the things that I don't like to do. That's always been a problem for me, but it's never been one that I've been able to label it and know it as a problem and still feel powerless against it. I just gotta man up and realize that God has called me to certain things (be a Christian, be a man, be a family member, be a member of a church, be a roommate, be a student, be a Youth Intern, etc) and accept the corresponding responsibilities - not as optional, but also not as a burdensome duty. This is the best plan for my life right now and that is a good thing! Another question on my mind lately has been - where am I called to find my primary source of community? If you asked me who have been the best friends that I've made since moving to St. Louis, I'm not entirely sure how I'd answer, but I'm leaning towards my friends at my church and in several ways I feel guilty about that. If you ask me what have been my most life-giving relationships I'd probably say that the ones at my church have been and I struggle with wondering if that is the way it should be. Living on the campus of a seminary is a unique opportunity to be around so many people in such a similar station of life that I'll never have again. These are people who deeply love the Lord and have the place and wisdom to speak into my life in a way that no one else can. Am I failure if I leave seminary without a group of people who will be my best friends for the rest of my life? Am I underestimating the friendships I have made? I one day want to serve a church where I will be calling people to find their primary community among their church family. At my church in Waterloo, I really feel like I am home. I feel welcomed and I feel like people are beginning to really know me. I feel like people are glad that I am there and that there are people in the town who I want to get to know and care for better. It's a great place to be! It's been helpful for me to think through where I feel that God is calling me to be and how he would have me spend my time. When we have to choose between good things and bad things we don't often worry about it. I have two great places to be right now and I do feel as though God is calling me to be present at both places. I need to feel confident with that, I need to trust him to be my security - because I know that I won't be able to either be a student or an intern perfectly. If my identity and sense of self-worth is not found in Christ then I will constantly be rushing back and forth between my campus and my church looking desperately for affirmation - for someone to tell me that I'm not a failure. Christ's tomb is empty and he is sitting on the throne and declaring from heaven that I am not a failure - the more I can learn to take him at his word the more peace I'll have in fulfilling his calling.
When classes started up I was amazed when I realized how much I really missed being in a semester! I love the smell of a new class! I'm anticipating a nominally busy semester, but with really exciting content!
The Winter Banquet that was hosted by the Student Council of my seminary hosted is simply an amazing reminder of why I love my school! It is the weekend between classes and finals and is a pure joy. So many of us getting together to celebrate God's goodness to us. There is good food! We get to dress up. One professor did a dramatic performance of one of the shepherd's account of the nativity which was both hilarious and moving. One tech-savy student put together a gag-reel of out-takes from interviews with the professors on campus. It was a beautiful example of the joy that the people that make up this seminary have in being together. We had a live band and fun times dancing like fools. It's been delightful to spend a goodamount of time in St. Louis without school work to do. There has beenlots of movie watching with roommates. There have been board gamesplayed with friends. There was playing in the snow. A Presbyterianministry called, “Christian Education and Publications” hosted anational Youth and Family Ministry conference on campus that Iattended. The goal was less focused on teaching and equipping andmore on encouraging and it was restful to sit under good teaching tobe reminded of what is important in Youth Ministry. Earlier this week the governor declared a State of Emergency for the "brutal winter storm" that was looming over us. Classes were cancelled Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. It turned out to be a great sound and fury signifying nothing. Granted, we did get a decent amount of snow and there definitely was a lot of ice, it just didn't quite live up to the "Snowpolcalyspe" that was promised. There was lots of hot chocolate and sledding and movies. Today is Thursday and is only our third day of classes despite the semester having started last week!
In many ways I really feel as though I was able to grow in friendship with the kids in my youth group this winter and we had a great time doing it!
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