These last few months have been pretty wild! The last time I posted on this blog was from the St. Louis airport. This time I'm posting my new living room IN Saint Louis!
I moved into town on Friday June 6th. On Saturday we had lots of orientation stuff. This Sunday morning we tried out a local church, had a big group lunch, and I'm just trying to continue getting settled in. Monday morning at 8:30am I'll be at my first Greek course!
Here are some e-mails that I sent out over the last month or so to let you in on some of my thinking of what has been going on in my life and what brought me here:
One way that God has been hard at work growing me as a man has been to reveal to me what it means to have a good dream and to chase after it. A pretty characteristic way for me to make decisions in my life have been to always wait and see what has fallen into my lap. Out of desire to guard myself against chasing a dream and not getting it I will usually take the path of least resistance and wait to see what happens to me. God is showing me that He can redeem my dreams. There are bad things in life that I have wanted and there are some dreams that need to die. However, for me to believe that it's actually ok to want something and then make the effort to make it happen, to rearrange my life, to make an investment in something, is good is something of brand new thinking. So as I'm about to graduate I've chosen to move to St. Louis and attend grad school at Covenant Theological Seminary. Which means that I'm saying 'No" to Westminster Theological Seminary near King of Prussia. Lately, someone asked me which school I wanted to go to. I had up until that point really only been trying to weigh the pros and cons from the standpoint of which school would be "best." Certainly, that wasn't a bad idea, but I had be largely ignoring my personal dreams and desires. There are a number of reasons why I am convinced that Covenant offers the best program for me, but after talking with people, praying, and thinking it through I realized that I really wanted to try the adventure of moving to St. Louis and starting over somewhere new. I realize that for three years it would be worth it to spend the extra money and be further away from you all to seek out the best education and most sanctifying experience. Going to Covenant isn't necessarily my biggest life dream, but I think I would seriously regret not taking the chance. It's something I defiantly want to do.After seeing the power of God's Word to change my life one of my life goals is to help others understand God's word better as well. It feels incredibly presumptuous of me to even speak the words, "I want to be a Pastor," but, for now, I am convinced that this is that path I am to take. God has been chasing after me and has really laid my path out for me. Trying to proactively make a decision about the next three years has been more difficult than I anticipated. The path of least resistance probably would have taken me to Westminster but the path of chasing my dream will take me further from you all, through more difficulty, and more debt. I want to thank you for being a part of my life. You have supported me and given me guidance. I am seriously excited to move forward in trusting God by taking a step of faith and doing something risky. I hope continue to keep you informed with my journey!
In Christ,
Jason
It is housing owned by the seminary so I'll be living with three other single guys who will be my classmates. Our apartment is in the middle of a community full of covenant people including young families, older singles, etc. It'll be excellent! The apartment is a short walk campus. It is fully furnished. It is pretty cheep ($310 a month including utilities!) The kitchen is nice. It comes with a vacum cleaner. There is already an entire bookshelf for just for me and one to share (they must know that seminary students will live there). It's exactly what I've been praying for and what I want to thank many of you for also praying for!
It's been an amazing process of teaching me that I need to be praying for things that God might say 'no' to. I will leave June 4th (or maybe the 5th) and this last week we have been worried about how much supplies i'll need, if we'll have to rent a u-haul to get my furniture there, or if i'll even have a place to go to! I was fairly confident that I would eventually get something, but I was so hesitant to ask God for the best case scenario because it seemed that if He did not want it for me then it would have been foolish and selfish. However, I wasn't believeing that whatever He would give me would be the best case scenario no matter what, so therefore God wants me to want good things and ask without fear. To see Him actually comming through and afirming that I wanted the same thing that He wanted for me and giving it to me is just thrilling.
Life at "home" has been interesting. It has shown my very real tendency to simply just "go along" with life. It has been restful and enjoyable to sleep in and catch time with family and friends, but there are many ways that I could have been a much better steward of the time and opportunities. My parents have been very patient to put up with my forgetting to do things that I've promised to do and my lazy putting off of things that would have been serving to them. With the TV on or my friends over, or having no "offical" time to wake up for has made the hours easily slip by. I don't think it's so bad to be resting and not "productive" but these two weeks have just exposed me as irresponsible (forgetting doctors appointments, forgetting to fill out and mail forms, not cleaning up after myself, etc). I'm the kind of guy who needs a savior.
I shudder to think of the laziness and irreponsibilty that God has already saved me from and developed me towards maturity. I am thrilled to think about how my choosing to be obediant to the Lord and taking steps in the future that will be most conducive towards me falling deeper in love with Himself will reveal how free from the bondage of sin I really am. Grace brought me safe this far and it will lead me to St. Louis and even life beyond that!
Thanks again for the wealth of support you have showered me with recently. I appreciate all of your prayers and guidance!
Keep in touch this summer! What's been difficult? What's been exciting? What's been humdrum?
In Christ,
Jason