Earlier this weekend, some of us on campus watched "The Passion of the Christ." Last week during spring break we watched lots of movies because we love being entertained by film and enjoy a pleasurable cinematic experience. However, my downstairs neighbor put it best when, after the film had ended and we all sat in silence for a brief while, she said, "I never know what to do with this movie."
One of the final images of the film is this one, Jesus' mother holding his lifeless body and staring out at the audience. She doesn't say a word, but her eyes are saying a whole lot: "so what are you going to do about this?" "Look, see what you caused - how are you going to live differently now?" The way it almost makes me feel is like at the end of Saving Private Ryan when after Tom Hanks sacrifices the life of several of his men, and then ultimate his own life, to save one man he looks that man in the eye and says, "earn this."
The problem is, after my neighbor had made her statement we talked about it for a little while and then moved on. I think I said something stupid and tried to sound smart by connecting it to a book we had to read for class and were writing a paper on. Soon, the conversation steered away from the movie we just watched and onto papers and other movies and other less difficult stuff. The point is, watching the Passion of the Christ can really make us feel uncomfortable - not because we don't know how to respond, but because we know that our lives don't actually reflect our belief that what we just watched is the single most significant event in human history that ought to impact every decision we ever make in our lives.
One of the final images of the film is this one, Jesus' mother holding his lifeless body and staring out at the audience. She doesn't say a word, but her eyes are saying a whole lot: "so what are you going to do about this?" "Look, see what you caused - how are you going to live differently now?" The way it almost makes me feel is like at the end of Saving Private Ryan when after Tom Hanks sacrifices the life of several of his men, and then ultimate his own life, to save one man he looks that man in the eye and says, "earn this."
The problem is, after my neighbor had made her statement we talked about it for a little while and then moved on. I think I said something stupid and tried to sound smart by connecting it to a book we had to read for class and were writing a paper on. Soon, the conversation steered away from the movie we just watched and onto papers and other movies and other less difficult stuff. The point is, watching the Passion of the Christ can really make us feel uncomfortable - not because we don't know how to respond, but because we know that our lives don't actually reflect our belief that what we just watched is the single most significant event in human history that ought to impact every decision we ever make in our lives.
I think that this time watching the movie what made me most uncomfortable was watching how the soldiers acted as they carried out the most horrific deed in human history. At worst they were vile, venomous, sociopaths, deranged mad-men. BUT at best they were callously indifferent - and that's what scared me. If I have to, I can convince myself that I wouldn't take as much pleasure in crucifying this man, but I cant' ignore the fact that not 10 minutes after watching Christ's death I was laughing and carrying on with my friends as though nothing had happened. These are men who are arguing about the best way to stretch Jesus' arm straight out enough to nail his hand in place. They are just having another day at work and are completely callous to the the suffering of this innocent person. 10 minutes later I was the same and the hallowing truth is that so much of my life shows that I live as though nothing really happened.
The next day I thought of the perfect response to my neighbor's comment ("What do we do with this?" "We pray. We worship.") Yet, that really didn't change me. My life just didn't seem to echo the truth that his death and resurrection is the most important event in history. I wasn't having what I KNEW to be the correct emotional response to the film. I continued to brood over that. Seeing my improper response to being shown that Christ died for my sins, once and for all, made me feel like an even bigger sinner and even less forgiven - "I know that being reminded of your sacrifice for my sins should lead me to worship you more, but it doesn't and that just means I'm a bigger sinner."
However, God slowly began to convince me that I was reading too much of myself into the movie. It is a honest and good question to ask "where are you in this film?" (and for me this time it really felt like I was the soldiers), but it's not good to emphasize seeing myself in the film at the sake of de-emphasizing Jesus. The movie is the story of Jesus' triumphant victory over my sin - irregardless of my response. The point of the movie isn't "respond the right way or watch out!" it isn't asking "what are you going to do to fix this?" Jesus isn't demanding that we "Earn this!" The whole point of the movie is that Jesus died to defeat evil. The story is about him - it's not about me. The evilness of my improper response was defeated by Christ. He went to war and emerged victorious!
Jesus is PRAYING for the soliders and saying, "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do." Jesus
There is a callousness to my heart that needs to be broken, yet I AM one of God's adopted children. When reminded of the gospel I need to respond in worship much more readily. However, the gospel says that what is important isn't the strength of my grip on him, but the strength of his grip on me - and after watching the movie you are forced to realize that Christ is VERY strong.
The next day I thought of the perfect response to my neighbor's comment ("What do we do with this?" "We pray. We worship.") Yet, that really didn't change me. My life just didn't seem to echo the truth that his death and resurrection is the most important event in history. I wasn't having what I KNEW to be the correct emotional response to the film. I continued to brood over that. Seeing my improper response to being shown that Christ died for my sins, once and for all, made me feel like an even bigger sinner and even less forgiven - "I know that being reminded of your sacrifice for my sins should lead me to worship you more, but it doesn't and that just means I'm a bigger sinner."
However, God slowly began to convince me that I was reading too much of myself into the movie. It is a honest and good question to ask "where are you in this film?" (and for me this time it really felt like I was the soldiers), but it's not good to emphasize seeing myself in the film at the sake of de-emphasizing Jesus. The movie is the story of Jesus' triumphant victory over my sin - irregardless of my response. The point of the movie isn't "respond the right way or watch out!" it isn't asking "what are you going to do to fix this?" Jesus isn't demanding that we "Earn this!" The whole point of the movie is that Jesus died to defeat evil. The story is about him - it's not about me. The evilness of my improper response was defeated by Christ. He went to war and emerged victorious!
Jesus is PRAYING for the soliders and saying, "Forgive them Father, they know not what they do." Jesus
There is a callousness to my heart that needs to be broken, yet I AM one of God's adopted children. When reminded of the gospel I need to respond in worship much more readily. However, the gospel says that what is important isn't the strength of my grip on him, but the strength of his grip on me - and after watching the movie you are forced to realize that Christ is VERY strong.